Dear Parents,

I wish you knew a few things. OK, more than a few.
Before taking offense, you must understand that I've been awake since 5:30 this morning. Why? Because I started thinking about an upcoming assignment on which I am collaborating with the Language Arts teacher to develop it into something where the kids can really show what they can do. So, for all my griping, the teaching/thinking about kids part of my brain never seems to shut down.
Now, on to some of the things that I wish parents knew. BTW, all but 10 of these have come up in the past 7 days.

Things I wish you knew...

How many hours I spend at home in the evenings and on the weekends working on ideas for new lessons and activities that might be more interesting to your children.

How offensive it is when you assume that I am singling out your child for disparate treatment, and that grades or behavior reports are part of some vendetta instead of an honest report of what happened.

The supplies in my classroom are my personal property. They were not provided by the school or district. I bought them, out of my pocket, over several years.

The reading material in the classroom is entirely my personal property. When those books are lost/destroyed/stolen, it affects the rest of the students. Rather than allow that, I will pack up books and any other materials that are not treated properly.

I hate holding detention. It's just as much a punishment for me as for your child. Unfortunately, your child needs to make up for the time of others that he or she wasted during my class. By the way, my detention days are scheduled around my other obligations. You do not get to decide when I can hold detention.

It brings me no joy to see poor grades next to anyone's name. It's disappointing, after long hours of hard work, to see evidence that the time was lost.

When you ask for a special appointment to meet before school or after school, you are infringing on my private time. I don't get paid by the hour; there is no overtime pay. When you ask me to meet with you before school or after hours, you are expecting me to rearrange my schedule to accommodate you.

A child who refuses to follow directions or complete assignments is not having a personality conflict. The child is having a tantrum. That's what it was called when she was 2 years old, and it's no more appealling now that she is 12.

When classwork is assigned, that means it is expected to be done in class. It does not mean students can talk and relax and then 'do it for homework'.

Multi-tasking is not efficient. When your child says that he/she can hold a conversation with a classmate and still get the work done, it is a fiction that you should not believe. I have seen with my own eyes that it's not working out. That's why there's an F on the report card.

If several teachers are telling you the same thing about your child's schoolwork or behavior, you should consider the very real possibility that the problem in this equation lives with you. We are all telling you the same thing because your child really is acting that way.

When there is a project to be done, I am careful to give written instructions for what is expected and how it will be graded. We review those instructions in class, in detail. Before your tell your child to do something else, you should find out what my instructions were.

There is a reason assignments have deadlines. That's when it needs to be turned in. By not taking care of work in a timely manner, your child sacrifices the chance to earn those points. I can do nothing about that.

I do not control when grades have to be finalized.

There is no requirement that I have to re-grade work. If I offer the opportunity to make corrections, be glad for it. If I don't offer it, that's just life.

When someone else does the work, don't ask me to accept it for a grade. It's unethical.

When you want something from me, or expect me to do something, it's just bad manners to insult me in the same message or conversation. And it doesn't exactly inspire me to agree.

I have a boss, thank you. That's the person who gets to tell me what to do. I'm not telling you how to raise your child, though I certainly have thoughts on that topic.

I'll make a deal with you: I won't criticize the décor in your house as long as you don't criticize teaching methods. Things have changed since you and I sat in the student desks.

When 12 kids are running off at the mouth and my instructions can't be heard, I will have to raise my voice. That's not yelling. That's just reality.

Please educate your child as to the meaning of the words 'yell', 'shout', 'scream'. He seems to believe these words apply anytime I don't give in to his whims.

Your child does not get to slander me, or other teachers, while I sit by and smile politely. My contract as a teacher does not require me to tolerate that; yours as a parent does.

The custodians at this school are not your child's personal servants. You kid still has to pick up after himself.

You know those lockers? They are the place for your child to store her belongings, not my bookshelf, not the desks that other kids need to use, and certainly not my floor. Stuff that's left behind is not my responsibility.

Conference night is not fun for me.

Curriculum night is not fun for me.

Stomping feet and throwing pencils off the desk, by students or parents, does not impress or intimidate me.

If I need to call you about a behavior issue, this is certainly not the first time it has happened. This isn't being petty. I've already talked to your kid; now it's time for you to step up.

When you wait till the end of the grading period to come in and see what issues have come up, it's a mystery just what you expect from me. I've been working on these things for weeks; where've you been?

I don't really care if you approve of the assignment.

I don't care if you like the tests.

Yeah, your son really does need to know this stuff. (Was actually asked this question once.) Unless, that is, your dreams for him include living in a cardboard box under the expressway.

I don't care if you like the school rules or discipline policy. I might not like them, either, but that's beside the point. I have to follow the speed limit whether I like it or not, and the kids have to follow the rules, too.

There's a place for people who don't follow the rules. It comes with ugly jumpsuits and big metal bars.

You know that cute outfit you bought your daughter last weekend? Not school appropriate. If you would see it at a club, it shouldn't be seen at school.

If there are supposed to be glasses on the face, that doesn't get you a pass on your assigned seat. It means you should put them on so that you can actually see.

If you are wearing the glasses and still can't see, maybe it's time to go back to the eye doctor.

If your child is not involved in sports, and isn't driving, why does he need a cell phone?

My last name is not Walton and I don't stock school supplies.

Interrupting my class is rude, no matter who you are.

The rest of the world is not interested in the patterns on your son's underwear, and neither am I. Buy him some pants that fit properly, for heaven's sake.

The boys at my school don't need to know the landscape of your daughter's cleavage. Please buy her some clothing that will cover the twins.

Applying cosmetics in class is inappropriate.

Personal hygiene starts with soap and water. Please don't teach your child to use body spray as a substitute.

If the kids have to leave their clothes in my classroom, I should be able to drop off my laundry at your house in exchange.

When your kids are sick, please keep them at home. I am not a nurse, I can not give medication, and I can't afford to get sick and lose time from work.

That school supply list we sent home? It really does mean thaat those things will be needed for class.

When you allow your child to speak to me rudely, it tells me something about you. When you allow your child to speak to YOU rudely, in front of me, well, that speaks volumes.

Teachers don't get discounts on stationery and school supplies. We pay the same price you do. Either get your kid some paper and pencils, or send me some money and I'll go shopping.

Sometimes, it really IS the child's fault.

If you have all the answers, please come in and take over my classroom. I could really use a break. If you don't care to do this, leave it to those of us who have a clue what we're doing.

Even as I vent all my frustrations on this page, I've been awake since 5:30 (it's Sunday morning) thinking about ways to make an upcoming assignment more engaging (better) for your children.