Confessions

Okay, I admit it. I'm a failure as an educator. It must be true, after all, the experts are telling me so: my students (who can't hear any instructions over the sound of their own conversation), their parents (who haven't tried to teach anything since potty training- maybe), my assistant principal (who has been out of the classroom long enough that she won't cross the threshold of my room). These are the experts, aren't they?

Bless me, for I have sinned. Let me count the ways:

I followed through on everything I said. At least, when not undermined by the powers that be.

I kept homework to a minimum. I gave you time to work on it in class. Terrible of me.

I created opportunities to work in groups. The nerve.

I offered projects with choices. So sorry.

I gave clear directions for assignments, and even put them on the board for the benefit of those who wouldn't hear what I said. Gosh, what was I thinking?

I set clear expectations, and held you to them. I had no right to do that.

I kept up with grades, to the best of my ability. It's a lot of work. I should have done something else.

I was honest with you. I never lied to you, not about your work or your behavior. I guess that was rude?

I enforced the rules of the school and the district. That's right, I didn't make up any of that shit.

I took all the abuse you dished out, even the second and third helpings. Thank you.

I never retaliated for childish things you said and did, even when I dearly wanted to.

I listened to you cussing and bit my tongue.

I looked at your work, gave it back to you for improvement, and checked it again.

I provided study guides for every test. Sorry about that.

I asked you to reflect on your progress and your studying. I should have done it for you, I guess.

When you didn't turn in your work, I allowed additional time to turn it in. What was I thinking?

When you still didn't turn in the work, I offered the chance to work on it after school. I shouldn't have.

When you plagiarized your work, I didn't record a grade of zero. How dare I?

When you came the day before grades were due, asking about getting your work in, I accepted it.

When you brought in missing work the day after grades were posted, I made the corrections.

When you tried to get out of class, I didn't let you. Who gave me that right?

When you lied to another teacher to get out of class, I sent you back. I should have let you lie.

I watched you talking rudely to your parents.

I watched you talking rudely to your classmates.

I watched you talking rudely to your teachers.

I stayed up late working on lessons and activities. My bad.

I stayed up late looking for new ideas. Definitely a screw up.

I stayed up late grading your papers. Huge mistake.

I listened to you insulting all of your teachers. I apologize.

I listened to your parents insulting all of your teachers. I apologize again.

I kept your parents informed about your progress. I should have let you take care of that.

I talked to you about changing your habit of not studying for tests. I was out of line.

When you picked a fight, I tried to keep your classmates out of harm's way. I shouldn't have done that.

When you were suspended, I dug up your work that you would miss so that you could still get credit.

When you were on academic probation, I gave you the assignments that were missing. Multiple times, even after you told me off, told the other teachers off, told the principal off, I still brought it to you.

I tried to be the authority figure in the room. I should have been your friend instead of your teacher. I should have given you everything you demanded, instead of setting limits and boundaries.

I guess you're right. I have no business in the classroom. After all, you are the expert, aren't you?