So, what kind of relationship should this be?

I keep hearing about 'relationships' between students and teachers that turn into criminal cases. My students have made it abundantly clear they want no part of me, and that's okay. Friendship is not why I'm here. however, lately I dread goinf to work because of how hard it is to just get the job done. Lessons are prepared, materials are ready, and provided, and there is no equal consideration from students. Try to enforce some expectations, and it becomes a major issue. try to get some help, and end up twisting in the wind.

I'm tired of being the odd man out, and also tired of walking around with a target on my back. Between students who threaten to harm a teacher and those who actually try it, with absolutely no consequences, it's become impossible to give the simplest of directions with any expectation of follow-through on their part. I've tried to point out that when a student is out of control, and we request intervention, it creates a dangerous scene to be ignored. What happens if that student who needs an intervention turns physically aggressive? They already know help isn't coming, and they've figured out that they can get away with anything they want. Parents freely refuse to allow teacher discipline like detention and isolation on team. Mind you, these are steps in the school discipline plan, not stuff we pull out of thin air. Any wonder they also believe they can interfere with administrative action? So, after a couple of positively miserable and crazy weeks dealing with behavior in the absence of support from either parents or administrators, culminating in a student attempting to knock me over, I finally wrote a letter laying out my concerns. It's not something that was fun, or easy, to do, but after the doorway incident, it was time to document the problems. Sooner or later, one of us is going to be injured by a child, and there's no way TPTB should be able to say they didn't know there was a problem.

Well, at least there was a response. It took the form of an invitation to meet with the boss and discuss the issues, with assurance that we can find “solutions”. So, today, I got an earful about how if I just had a better 'relationship' with the students, it wouldn't be so difficult. The most specific advice to come out of it was 'there are things you can do' differently, but no examples were offered in spite of requests for such. We need to be more positive, more encouraging, get to know the kids and let them know us. I'm not sure why that excuses not following directions and completing assignments. I do know how much they roll their eyes anytime I mention a personal experience or connection to our curriculum topics. Is it any wonder one would withdraw from that and stop offering those personal tidbits? I'm also not convinced it absolves them of responsibility for cursing each other and us, nor for assault. But, apparently, if I can just be sufficiently warm and fuzzy, all will be well. So, I'll put on a smile and give it the old college try. We'll see how it turns out. However, it rankles that this is painted as being entirely on me as both cause and solution.